Disclaimer: This definitely didn't happen.
Notes: This is way AU. It is supposed to be amusing. ghettolikejoel and I co-wrote it just to amuse ourselves. This community is just about dead, so I thought I'd post it here.
Matt takes his time putting his books into his bookbag. He looks to his right, having memorized Joel's schedule, he knows that is where Joel will be coming from. As he spots him walking around the corner, he turns and pretends to be searching for something in his locker, until he hears Joel spinning the combination lock to his left. He looks up as he shoves another book into his bag.
"Hi Matt. How was your day?" Joel says as he opens his locker. He takes out every book that he has, and stuffs them into his book bag.
"It was excellent. In calculus, we learned all about the derivatives of tangent lines. I have human anatomy homework," Matt says with an awkward laugh. "Will you come over tonight to help me study again?"
Joel blushes as he pushes up his glasses. He gives Matt a crooked smile. "Sure. I have to eat dinner with my momma, and I'll ask her to bring me over. I can stay later tonight because it isn't a school night."
Matt gives Joel a toothy grin as he shoves the last book from his locker into his bag. He shuts his locker and reaches for his backpack, just as Joel struggles to pick up his bag.
“Why do they have to make these books so heavy? Do they not want us to take them home?” Matt asks as he notices that he cannot pick his bag up either.
Joel shrugs and shifts his gaze to the floor, “I can’t seem to pick mine up.”
“I think we should get the kind that is on wheels,” Matt comments.
Joel nods as he watches Matt struggle to slip his backpack on. He finally does and almost falls backwards in the process.
“So what time can I expect you?” Matt asks, resting a hand against his locker so he stops swaying from the weight of the books.
“Around six-thirty,” Joel says, unable to hide his grin, “Should I bring anything?”
"No! You are the guest," Matt says, "I'll see you later, Joel. I have to catch the bus." They share one last smile before they go separate ways.
Joel walks out to the school's parking lot, where his mom is waiting to pick him up. She gets out of the car to help him with his book bag and kisses him on the forehead.
"How was your day, dear?" She asks as they get in the car. Joel's brother, Benji, is already sitting in the front seat, so he has to take the back.
“Why are you so happy?” Benji asks as he turns around in his seat.
Joel blushes and diverts his gaze to his feet, shrugging in answer, and pushing his glasses up before they fall off.
"What's for dinner, momma?" Joel asks, trying to change the subject.
"Cow!" Benji responds, knowing that Joel doesn't eat meat.
"Benjamin!" their mother shouts. "We are having pizza, Joel. But since you can't have the dairy, I am going to boil you some noodles and asparagus."
"Thanks, Momma," He says glaring at Benji who is mooing at him.
"Momma! Can you help me pick out a shirt?" He yells out to her. "I want something that brings out my eyes."
She takes a look through his closet finding only button-down shirts ranging from plaid to… plaid. She picks one out for him and suggests a pair of pants that would match. He combs his hair to the side like he always does.
Meanwhile Matt is in his room making his bed. He already vacuumed, put up all of his clothes, and arranged his collection of Star Wars toys so they didn’t look like he had just been playing with them. His watch beeps, telling him that he should expect Joel in fifteen minutes. He takes one last glance at the room and then heads down the stairs to pop some popcorn. Just as it finishes, there is a knock on the door. Matt glances in the hall mirror as he walks by on his way to answer the door. He looks through the peep hole to find Joel standing outside. Matt smiles to himself as he opened the door.
“I made popcorn if you want any,” Matt greets Joel as he comes inside.
“I’m allergic to popcorn,” Joel says shyly.
"Oh, um… well… um… my parents aren't home tonight. We could… we could… well… we could go up into my room? If that is ok with you," Matt says almost incoherently.
Joel giggles at the way Matt is acting, even though he is just as shy and nervous.
"Uh, uh… sure. I'd love to," Joel answers back.
"There is this really good movie on sci-fi tonight. We could watch that. Or we could uh… study like we planned too."
Joel shrugs and tries to hold back a smile, “It’s up to you.”
Matt smiles back and tells Joel to follow him. He leads Joel into his room, where Joel immediately walks over to Matt’s display of Star Wars toys and picks up one of Luke Skywalker.
“This one is new,” he says excitedly.
Matt smiles proudly and walks over to where Joel is standing, “I just got it today when my mom took me to buy a new calculator.”
“A graphing calculator?” Joel asks quickly.
“Yeah, my old one got stepped on,” Matt explains quietly, feeling a bit awkward.
“It happens,” Joel says because it has happened to him too, “So you uh… needed help with your human anatomy homework?”
"Um… uh… yeah. Let's go sit on my bed," Matt says walking over to his neatly made bed, Joel following. Matt smiles as he pushes up Joel's glasses. Joel gives a quick smile back before he leans into Matt for a kiss, but it only lasts a few seconds because their glasses hit and Matt starts to giggle. Joel takes off his glasses and puts them down on the bed.
"Now I can't see," he says.
Matt snorts as he pulls his glasses off too, "Now I can't either."
Matt moves in to kiss him again, their noses bumping as a consequence of removing their glasses.
"Heh, you taste good, like strawberry Ovaltine," Matt says as Joel moves in to kiss him again.
“I thought we were going to study human anatomy,” Matt comments as they part. His cheeks are red and he is breathing faster than usual.
Joel pushes Matt on his back and climbs on top of him.
“We are,” he says before quickly kissing him again. “Did you know that the average speed of ejaculation is 28 miles per hour?”
Matt’s eyes go wide at the mention of the word “ejaculation” and he starts to blush.
“You wanted to study human anatomy. I read that in the book,” Joel explains.
Joel slowly begins to unbutton Matt's shirt.
"And did you know that the average number of erections a male has each day is eleven?"
Matt looks at Joel and takes a deep breath. Sweat is already starting to form on his forehead.
“And the average number of erections at night is nine," Joel says leaning in to kiss Matt's bare stomach.
Matt gasps when Joel’s tongue traces his collarbone as his hands work to unbutton Matt’s pants. Joel looks up to find Matt shyly smiling at him. His cheeks are red and his chest is rapidly rising and falling. His hand slides over his mouth to hide another gasp as Joel rids him of his pants and briefs in one swift movement, his other hand grasping the blankets to avoid using it to push Joel’s head down. Joel grabs Matt’s erection and slides his tongue over the tip. Matt inhales sharply as Joel slides his tongue around the head, while using his hand to stroke him. Suddenly Joel notices that Matt is wheezing. He pulls away quickly and looks at Matt who is starting to cough.
“In… haler,” Matt chokes out, pointing to his bedside table.
Joel starts to panic as he reaches for Matt's inhaler. He hands it to Matt and starts to wheeze too.
"Did... I... do... some... thing... wrong?" Joel asks between quick breaths.
Matt's breathing starts to slow down. He hands the inhaler back to Joel.
"No, heh. I just got a little ::snort:: too excited," Matt says giggling.
"Maybe we should just watch that movie on sci-fi," Joel says grabbing his glasses and handing Matt his while Matt slides his underwear back on.
Matt picks up the remote off his nightstand and turns on the TV. Joel cuddles up to Matt and gives him a quick kiss. Joel notices that Matt is still excited and starts to giggle. “Think of Princess Leia in the gold bikini and it’ll go away.”